FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
