omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize