Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
