who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
