Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize