Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
