How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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