so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I am available for nakedness
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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