I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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