turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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