Texts From Last Night

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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.

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  (785): Mines from giving head on hardwood floors. http://tfl.nu/x8b4
  Replies (25) Good night (3216) Bad night (893)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...

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  (254): People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga... http://tfl.nu/n729
  Replies (12) Good night (5425) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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  (512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p
  Replies (16) Good night (785) Bad night (5279)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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  (404): His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me. http://tfl.nu/ej9i
  Replies (17) Good night (6597) Bad night (1011)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.

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  (646): Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout. http://tfl.nu/vj0i
  Replies (6) Good night (4111) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.

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  (+44): If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse. http://tfl.nu/1ru8
  Replies (6) Good night (1414) Bad night (2209)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one

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  (310): I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one http://tfl.nu/kvjq
  Replies (12) Good night (872) Bad night (1832)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.

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  (412): Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out. http://tfl.nu/chur
  Replies (10) Good night (4151) Bad night (1139)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways

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  (612): I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways http://tfl.nu/wwmk
  Replies (0) Good night (1349) Bad night (681)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.

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  (501): My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success. http://tfl.nu/qdpi
  Replies (8) Good night (629) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.

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  (518): Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg. http://tfl.nu/k1xd
  Replies (10) Good night (1618) Bad night (491)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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  (402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t
  Replies (6) Good night (1666) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.

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  (908): After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher. http://tfl.nu/fy1c
  Replies (6) Good night (532) Bad night (1782)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.

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  (310): Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/3hkr
  Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?

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  (514): Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew? http://tfl.nu/9nvu
  Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (561)

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