Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

your butthole totally puckers for the ginge

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(914): View more from New York

Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(509): View more from Washington

Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

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(231): View more from Michigan

it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.

(339): View more from Massachusetts

Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.

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