Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

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  (203): a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up. http://tfl.nu/5e3h
  Replies (76) Good night (1179) Bad night (8075)
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  (805): View more from California

  he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

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  (805): he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me http://tfl.nu/6q8m
  Replies (18) Good night (727) Bad night (4094)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

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  (727): Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick http://tfl.nu/5e6v
  Replies (17) Good night (1149) Bad night (10093)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

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  (937): Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed. http://tfl.nu/c6ek
  Replies (8) Good night (2854) Bad night (948)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.

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  (401): Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since. http://tfl.nu/058n
  Replies (7) Good night (1410) Bad night (4870)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities

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  (603): I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities http://tfl.nu/wabu
  Replies (6) Good night (3277) Bad night (847)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean

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  (716): I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean http://tfl.nu/rm0w
  Replies (17) Good night (1460) Bad night (2770)
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  (916): View more from California

  You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.

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  (916): You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito. http://tfl.nu/1uk0
  Replies (8) Good night (2172) Bad night (615)
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  (415): View more from California

  I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.

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  (415): I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape. http://tfl.nu/bbp9
  Replies (5) Good night (1719) Bad night (584)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"

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  (402): The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?" http://tfl.nu/ovas
  Replies (11) Good night (745) Bad night (1445)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.

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  (614): If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night. http://tfl.nu/mvnj
  Replies (2) Good night (896) Bad night (347)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.

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  (410): It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole. http://tfl.nu/8vko
  Replies (16) Good night (762) Bad night (2186)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.

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  (908): You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out. http://tfl.nu/tk4x
  Replies (4) Good night (1165) Bad night (294)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it

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  (250): the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it http://tfl.nu/lvi5
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (282)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.

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  (303): Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super. http://tfl.nu/a5le
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (317)

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