Texts From Last Night

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  (224): View more from Illinois

  it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.

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  (224): it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday. http://tfl.nu/m5qz
  Replies (11) Good night (832) Bad night (2739)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"

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  (586): You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared" http://tfl.nu/f1ec
  Replies (19) Good night (6025) Bad night (2829)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.

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  (801): Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with. http://tfl.nu/sran
  Replies (13) Good night (2287) Bad night (3335)
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  (909): View more from California

  that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though

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  (909): that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though http://tfl.nu/jicr
  Replies (4) Good night (2289) Bad night (844)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?

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  (814): Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me? http://tfl.nu/l0ft
  Replies (4) Good night (2575) Bad night (1519)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.

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  (303): Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night? (1-303): Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/jufi
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed

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  (585): If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/2pf8
  Replies (6) Good night (1823) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard

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  (949): You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard http://tfl.nu/9s6s
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (513)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.

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  (505): The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it. http://tfl.nu/p90f
  Replies (3) Good night (1198) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...

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  (925): I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year... http://tfl.nu/2wth
  Replies (2) Good night (1006) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!

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  (780): You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day! http://tfl.nu/bw0f
  Replies (5) Good night (409) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun

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  (847): Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun http://tfl.nu/7pg6
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time

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  (306): I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time http://tfl.nu/lht5
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.

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  (970): Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome. http://tfl.nu/0viv
  Replies (7) Good night (835) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.

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  (231): He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off. http://tfl.nu/bbw4
  Replies (4) Good night (910) Bad night (312)

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