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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  just tell him i said nine months

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.

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• (845): View more from New York

  First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo

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