Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
