Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.