i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
