he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
