Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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