Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
