You don't have asthma, your pregnant
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
