4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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