I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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