I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You were trust falling into bushes
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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