You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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