Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
