I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
