I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's blow job season.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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