I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
