I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
