His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
