Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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