shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
