Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
