Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
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Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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