between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
