I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
