Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
