I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
