You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
