My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize