remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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