dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
