In the future we'll all be gay
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
