Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
