wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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