Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
