Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
