I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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