I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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