I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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