God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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