I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
