trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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