Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
