You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
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there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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