im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
