Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
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Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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