I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize