i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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