nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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