I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
