On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
