You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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