just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
