Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
