ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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