you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
