your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
